Meet
The Staff
Rank: The Epic Trinity, The Boss Man
Bio: Chestbursted out of a washed-up mob boss in the early '90s,
Avaitor's love for cartoons is the only thing that keeps him from becoming
criminally insane. The forum was technically his idea, but it was actually
first suggested by one of his five different psychotherapists.
Little-known fact: Wrote and directed the hit pornographic film,
Sherman's Carnal March To The Sea, in 1998.
Recommendations (Animation): Ed, Edd n Eddy; Baccano!; Daria
Recommendations (Video Games): The Legend of Zelda: Twilight
Princess; Metal Gear Solid; Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic
Recommendations (Music): Iron Maiden; Agalloch; Neutral Milk Hotel
Recommendations (Comics): Uncle Scrooge; Y: The Last Man; Silver
Surfer
Recommendations (Movies): Ran; Fantastic Mr. Fox; The Lost Weekend
Rank: The Epic Trinity,
The Comedian (Like From Watchmen)
Bio: When not stealing heroin from his mom's dealer (or subsequently
injecting it directly into his bloodstream), Foggle runs an S&M-themed
fried chicken joint named The Steaming Cluckold. He also makes
sure the forum doesn't turn into a haven for Algerian spam-bots.
Little-known fact: Has been announced legally dead twice. The first
time was caused by an unfortunate incident involving a lawn mower, the
second due to faulty equipment on the doctor's behalf.
Recommendations (Animation): When They Cry [Higurashi no Naku
Koro ni]; Harvey Birdman: Attorney At Law; Cowboy Bebop
Recommendations (Video Games): God Hand; F.E.A.R.; Ratchet and
Clank: Going Commando
Recommendations (Music): Infectious Grooves; That Handsome Devil;
Mandrill
Recommendations (Comics): Excel Saga; Scud The Disposable Assassin;
Platinum Grit
Recommendations (Movies): In Bruges; Underground (1995); Cemetery
Man
Rank: The Epic Trinity,
The Dark Horse
Bio: Granted immortality by "some retarded bald guy" in AD 420, Ensatsu-ken
lived on as a fairly competent demon for centuries upon centuries until
retiring to a life of peaceful seclusion in 1957. Some time later, he
was approached by Avaitor, who asked him to become vice-president of
his new company; Ensatsu-ken accepted only after stealing his soul.
Little-known fact: French electronic duo Justice claims that Ensatsu-ken
provided the vocals for their hit song, D.A.N.C.E. He failed to
confirm or deny these allegations, stating only "I was really drunk that
night."
Recommendations (Animation): Yu Yu Hakusho; Futurama; Hunter X
Hunter
Recommendations (Video Games): Ninja Gaiden Black; The Orange Box
(Half-Life 2 + Episodes 1&2, Team Fortress 2, Portal); The Legend of
Zelda: The Wind Waker
Recommendations (Music): Being an ages-old Dark Lord, Ensatsu-ken
does not listen to music; instead, he opts to blast tracks that will
torture his enemies.
Recommendations (Music That Causes Physical Harm To Ears): Millionaires;
Ke$ha; BrokenCYDE
Recommendations (Comics): Death Note; Rurouni Kenshin; Dragon
Ball
Recommendations (Movies): The Good, The Bad And The Ugly; The
Untouchables; Hard Boiled
Rank: Review Crew Captain, Currently MIA
Bio: After granting immortality to "some retarded cloaked guy"
in AD 420, DaemonCorps built a boat out of dead insects and sailed to China.
From there, he dug a tunnel all the way to what is now called North America,
sat down in present-day California, and meditated non-stop until Disneyland
was finished being built over 1,500 years later.
Little-known fact: DaemonCorps constantly comes and goes from the forum.
It is assumed that, whenever he leaves, he is busy constructing more of
his inner-Earth tunnel network.
Little-known fact (#2): "DaemonCorpse" jokes got old after a week,
guys.
Recommendations (Animation): Dragon Ball; Rocko's Modern Life;
Rugrats
Recommendations (Video Games): Super Mario World; Pokemon: Blue
Version; Brain Age 2
Recommendations (Music): Lenka; Coldplay; Train
Recommendations (Comics): Eyeshield 21; Ultimate Spider-Man
Recommendations (Movies): Cast Away; My Sassy Girl; Heavyweights
Rank: Rookie Of The Year
Bio: Angry with Avaitor for kicking him out of their grunge-funk Grateful
Dead cover band, Desensitized kidnapped the bassist and threatened to feed
him to his pet shark, Sweettooth, if he was not granted admin rights to
the forum. They eventually worked up a compromise; Desensitized became a
moderator and ended up killing their old bassist anyway.
Little-known fact: Timbox was accidentally created when one of Desensitized's
crazy cloning experiments went awry.
Recommendations (Animation): King Of The Hill; The Simpsons; Batman:
The Animated Series
Recommendations (Video Games): Super Mario Bros. 3; Mega Man X;
Gunstar Heroes
Recommendations (Music): The Aquabats; Chuck Berry; Supergrass
Recommendations (Comics): Monster; Bakuman; Exiles
Recommendations (Movies): Clerks; The Goonies; Akira
Rank: ...The Medic?
Bio: The latest in a long line of sleep-deprived neurologists, Dr. Insomniac
was raised to be the guiding light of modern medical science... until he
got high and binged on nothing but BBC shows. Since then, he’s been recruited
as the latest review slave, with no hope of escaping until he finishes his
thesis on how K-On! is lowering the mental age of the anime fandom at large.
Little-known fact: As you were reading the above, the good doctor has since
released a virus that mutates victims into clones of Ellen Page.
Recommendations (Animation): Batman: Mask of the Phantasm; Batman Beyond;
Batman: Brave and the Bold
Recommendations (Video Games): None, for he is a joyless bastard.
Recommendations (Music): MGMT; Emilie Autumn; Flight of the Conchords
Recommendations (Comics): Planetary; The Sandman; Transmetropolitan
Recommendations (Movies): Oldboy; Hot Fuzz; Silence of the Lambs
Rank: Oh... Him
Bio: Mochigai had his legs cut off (HHL-CO) and subsequently eaten in 2006
after accidentally stumbling into a board meeting of the North American Association
of Cannibal Panhandlers (NAACP). Since then, he has dedicated his life to
building the world's first nuclear-powered wheelchair. So far his attempts
have been unsuccessful, though he did manage to grow a third arm due to radiation
exposure!
Little-known fact: In December of 2002, Mochigai HHL-CO brought a knife
to a gun fight and won.
Recommendations (Animation): Big O;
When They Cry [Higurashi no Naku Koro ni]; Venture Bros.
Recommendations (Video Games):
Burnout 3; SSX 3; Grand Theft Auto 4
Recommendations (Music): Ensiferum; E.L.O.; Wang Chung
Recommendations (Comics): Fruits Basket; Bleach; Cromartie High School
Recommendations (Movies): WALL-E; Shanghai Knights; Steamboy